I have five things to say,
five fingers to give into your grace.
First, when I was apart from you,
this world did not exist, nor any other.
Second, whatever I was looking for was always you.
Third, why did I ever learn to count to three?
Fourth, you are my religion, my faith, my solitude, my nirvana
Fifth, There’s me and there’s you, is there a difference?
Written By – Rumi & …….. Ritika
How blessed you think you are. Great parents, who are your friends, mentors, guide and confidant, great job, amazing friends, comfortable life. And yet the pressing void somewhere in the center of your being, makes you wonder what is it that you lack. the wonder couples walking hand in hand, the green parks packed with people walking, smiling beside their companion, the child obsessed couples spoiling their young lads with street food and unnecessary indulgent, the elderlies rushing home after a tiring day at work to their families to spend the rest of the evening taking care of them, running errands, buying groceries.
Everything seems as normal as it could be, but yet in this world where every other soul is fighting for their existence, in some way or another, fighting to find their place or making a footing for them and their families in some way or another, i end up feeling lonely and almost alienated, with absolutely no sense of belonging-ness, and in this hard moment of reality you realize that world is what it is and will always be like this, will I never feel belonged here, Why don’t I fight harder to find my place here, Why don’t I fight harder to make my footing too, why there is a feeling of “for what” behind every actions, every goal, every decision and every breathe of mine.
“For what” sometimes changes to “For Whom” but just like the former even this remains unanswered and absolutely frustrating fact.
I realize since some time now, you might just think I am a hopeless romantic lunatic, but think for once, how the world around you is, and at the end of the day what you want ? is it money, is it success or just the smile of someone whose reasons for smile is you?
I realize now until and unless you have someone to live for, someone who loves you unconditionally, spiritually and hopelessly (not the one “you” love but the one who loves you), until and unless you do not have someone in this world who would spend their life worrying about you, who would “want” to own you, take pride in you, wants to call you a family (not obligation), who wants to see you day in and day out, “want” to be there for you, whose life depends on your moods, whose moods depends on your highs and lows and smiles and frowns, until you have no-one in your life fit the above frame, no mater how far ahead you reach in this world, no matter how successful,no matter how many venerate you, no matter how many matrimony you go through or how many lovely off springs you have, you will in fact always be alone.
Written by – Ritika
What you do when you don’t know where your next step is going to land you. Things have been topsy and turvy since my grandmother, nothing planned, everything spontaneous, everything new and every things ends with a different perspective. No I am not going to get into the details of all that I just wrote, in fact to think about it, I do not even know why I am writing this post. I am here because I made myself a promise of writing exactly whats there in my mind, even if it reads gibberish to you, its my thoughts, right at this moment, candid, very very candid.
Today I got diagnosed with something, nothing serious, but only treatable not curable.And it got me thinking whats there in it for me. Have you ever found yourself thinking “whats there in it for you” when you are hit with hard times. That’s what my experience has taught me every bad time has passed my life leaving behind something substantial to cherish forever. So you may think I am a little mad, may be I am, but that’s what I am thinking. This is another of “many” new things I have been hit with, since I changed my cities and life took a very sharp U-turn, so bad that I can not even see the path I had left behind.
Well, the little thingy I mentioned above is not the only thing that happened today…. Seated in a sonography room and surrounded with all the expecting mothers, and pictures of ultrasounds …….today of all days in my life I was hit with a strong, too strong of a maternal instinct, the moment you realize “what in life you would not do to become a mother”, oh what an alien feeling, yet so blissful, again how silly is it… right? specially coming from a girl/women(?) in mid twenties who is no where closer to finding here Mr. Right… (Sigh). I had to literally stop myself from talking with those “mothers to be” and ask all sorts of questions, and yet I felt there joy, joy which was like no other joy I ever felt before. I know weird right … but there it is..
I was desperate to pen these things down… and hoping may be now I can wish for a good nights sleep…
Night Friends…
Written By – Ritika
There’s a tree right outside my building, I am sure I have seen it full grown with green pointed leaves, but a few days back while returning from work the tree stood as ever splashing its beauty to whom so ever who looked at it.
The tree has no leaves not even one, all it had was bunch of branches with light ping flowers all over it, the first word that came across my mind was “Hope”. That tree for me, was a spectacular example of Hope. When you have nothing left, only brown and grey everywhere, nothing to support you nothing to make you feel perfect or good, that’s the time when you hold on to what you have most dearly and wait for the season to change embracing what you have, what you had and eagerly hoping to receive what you wish. just like that tree…
I do not know why I wrote about the tree as my first post for “this: blog (I have two other 🙂 ) but it seems perfect. Because my life has majorly been a journey moving only on “Hope” as I see it..
Hope of the new…
Hope of the better..
Hope for love…
Hope to move ahead..
Hope to fight and win…
Hope to find a place in this world…
Hope to search my world..
Hope to find my word…
Hope to find myself…
Written by – Ritika
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